Opinion: Influencing others effectively

One of the things many people don’t know about me, is that I spent many years both playing and umpiring baseball. Clearly that’s not so common for Australians.

In many ways, the umpiring was probably the most interesting. I’ve umpired up to state level games, including the Pan Pacific games. It certainly teaches you how to deal with strong views effectively.

Most people have seen the classic images of managers/coaches racing out to have a very heated discussion with an umpire. I’ve had so many people asking me how I dealt with that when I was umpiring.

Number 1 lesson

The number one lesson that I learned about dealing with this situation is to just look directly at the person, listen, and say nothing. When someone’s lost the plot, it’s important to avoid doing the same yourself.

What I find is that no matter how much they’re going on about things, they will eventually stop. But if you argue back, you just make them go on and on even more. After they stop, I’d invariably say something like OK, you’ve had your say. Let’s get on with the game. It’s amazing how well that disarms them.

You must also never repeat back anything rude or obnoxious that they say, even if you are just asking them not to say it, or telling someone else what they said. Otherwise, you can end up with what did you say? moments.

Sometimes it’s just for show

I’ve had high level managers/coaches (like Olympic level) come charging out, and start flaying their arms around.

But what the team members, and the spectators don’t know, is that I’m actually trying to keep a straight face, as the manager is actually asking me about what I’ve got planned for the weekend. They’ve 100% just come out to make a show for those watching.

Doubting your decision

I’m often asked do these guys ever make you doubt your decision ?. The answer is no.

When someone comes out and carries on ridiculously, once they’ve left, I don’t think maybe I got that wrong. Instead I think what an idiot.

The truly effective manager

There is, however, one type of manager/coach who does make me doubt myself. This generally happens with very senior managers/coaches, where they come out to talk to me, and very quietly let me know how they think I got things wrong.

No fuss, no show, just a quiet talk. And I’ll be thinking about it for the rest of the game. They know how to have an influence.

2025-07-09